Mama OWL Blog: Revelations.

Revelations.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

In January 2006 soon after the birth of my fourth child, I took a good long look at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. I was overweight and looked horrendous, I didn't look anything like myself, not the me that I knew.

That was when I started Slimming World and in just over a year I managed to lose 4.5 stone with a change of diet and gentle exercise. In the years that have followed, I have had another child, and my weight has fluctuated a little. I am currently 1.5 stone heavier than I was in 2007 after my 'big' weight loss, however having been unable to exercise in the past four months it was to be expected, the extra half a stone crept on in that time (or rather, it was carried on by chocolate and cake... and probably a bit of wine & rum if I'm honest) and the other stone comes and goes as it pleases it seems.

But recently I have realised that I just don't care. I have been so hung up on what other people thought of me, would they think I looked fat? Could I get away with that outfit? Am I in danger of having Green Peace come to my aid if I wear this bikini on the beach, or being harpooned if I dare swim in the sea? Since my holiday I have questioned myself about this. Why do I care what other people think about how I look?

I thought to myself, am *I* happy? And the answer is yes. I am finally happy in my own skin. I don't have the body of a supermodel, I never have and I never will. I don't want that, to be perfectly honest. I am happy being me, as I am. Maybe I will lose that extra 1.5 stone, maybe I won't. The only person it affects is me and quite frankly if I want to eat a bag of Cadbury nibbles in front of the TV on a Saturday night without fretting over how many calories it is then I bloody well will and I will enjoy every single sodding one. If I decide I want to lose weight, then I will do it for me and not because of what other people think. I know I'm not fat, sod what anyone else thinks.

I have a big bum, wide hips, wobbly thighs, deflated boobs, skinny wrists, knobbly knees, stretchmarks and a bit of a belly... And frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

It has taken me nearly thirty years, but I have finally realised that I love me just the way I am, wobbly bits and all.

I have linked this post with #oldiesbutgoodies at 3 Children and It

15 comments:

  1. Oh my god your stomach looks so good! I'm so jealous :( I've only had two kids and I've got the deflated saggy belly look :(
    seriously need to tone it up, dunno if it'll actually help much, apparently with a stomach like mine you'd need a tummy tuck to fix it but screw that! lol!

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  2. GREAT post! I hope more people get to feel like you do. xx

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  3. I was going to post a similar post! I think you look amazing! You have had 5 kids and you still look AMAZING!
    This was a great post. xx

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  4. you look awesome and after 5 kids I'd be proud to have that figure :-)

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  5. And we love you just the way you are! Thanks for sharing. xx

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  6. I think you look wonderful Julie!!!! x

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  7. my weight has always fluctuated - I've lost 25kg of 30 but struggling to stay motivated now. Maybe I should take a leaf out of your book and embrace my wobbly bits :-)
    New follower via Blow your own blog horn!

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  8. Thank you for your lovely comments ladies!! And welcome Catherine, always great to meet new bloggers!! x

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  9. Stupid phone, I meant to say you look just gorgeous. great post x x

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  10. You are so right...and for what it's worth you look beautiful anyway. So good for you deciding to be happy with yourself..something many of us can aspire to I'm sure xx

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  11. popping by from oldies but goodies - great post. well done on your 'big' weight loss but even more well done on being happy with you as you! You look great in that bikini.

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  12. YEAH - go you!! i am so loving your confidence and that in itself is empowering. I may have to don a bikini and do this myself! x

    Popped over from #oldiesbutgoodies

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  13. I love everything about this post - go you!! People would envy your confidence, it's a great thing to have - worth far more than a skinny body! Thanks for linking :)

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  14. You look amazing! And after 5 children too? Wow. Way to go! x

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