That was when I started Slimming World and in just over a year I managed to lose 4.5 stone with a change of diet and gentle exercise. In the years that have followed, I have had another child, and my weight has fluctuated a little. I am currently 1.5 stone heavier than I was in 2007 after my 'big' weight loss, however having been unable to exercise in the past four months it was to be expected, the extra half a stone crept on in that time (or rather, it was carried on by chocolate and cake... and probably a bit of wine & rum if I'm honest) and the other stone comes and goes as it pleases it seems.
But recently I have realised that I just don't care. I have been so hung up on what other people thought of me, would they think I looked fat? Could I get away with that outfit? Am I in danger of having Green Peace come to my aid if I wear this bikini on the beach, or being harpooned if I dare swim in the sea? Since my holiday I have questioned myself about this. Why do I care what other people think about how I look?
I thought to myself, am *I* happy? And the answer is yes. I am finally happy in my own skin. I don't have the body of a supermodel, I never have and I never will. I don't want that, to be perfectly honest. I am happy being me, as I am. Maybe I will lose that extra 1.5 stone, maybe I won't. The only person it affects is me and quite frankly if I want to eat a bag of Cadbury nibbles in front of the TV on a Saturday night without fretting over how many calories it is then I bloody well will and I will enjoy every single sodding one. If I decide I want to lose weight, then I will do it for me and not because of what other people think. I know I'm not fat, sod what anyone else thinks.
I have a big bum, wide hips, wobbly thighs, deflated boobs, skinny wrists, knobbly knees, stretchmarks and a bit of a belly... And frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
It has taken me nearly thirty years, but I have finally realised that I love me just the way I am, wobbly bits and all.
I have linked this post with #oldiesbutgoodies at 3 Children and It