Mama OWL Blog: Highs & Lows and a Happy New Me

Highs & Lows and a Happy New Me

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Well it has been a couple of weeks since new year began and we're just about back into our daily routine. We're finding our feet and trying to remember what we're doing and where we're going at any given moment. Another week or so and we should be good, though by then the kids will be counting down to half term...

I didn't make any new years resolutions because I didn't see the point. There isn't anything different about new year - it being January the 1st didn't have any sort of magical power that meant because I wanted something that it was going to happen. Instead, I've had a think about things I want to achieve & what I want to be doing this year and I'm taking a more positive approach to my life in general.

I want to be more in control.
Of everything. My finances, my social life, my routine, my housework, my KIDS. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my grip and I just want to feel more settled and at ease. I don't want worry or panic, I just want to get on with things and be more focussed. I feel I have dropped the ball more times than I would have liked in recent months, and with a raft of changes happening for our family this year that needs to not happen so often.

I don't want to have to do everything.
I have Cinderella syndrome right now, I do almost everything at home and that has to change. I don't want the kids to be doing all of the housework because that's not their job, however I do expect them to clear up after themselves and pull their weight. I'm their mother, not their maid and as they are getting older they are more than capable of taking on responsibility for themselves and their things. I won't be there to pick up their shit forever so learning this lesson now will save time in future.

I want more time for myself.
Even if it is just an hour to go swimming by myself one or two evenings a week, or a couple of hours spent reading in a cafe on a Saturday afternoon. I need more time to myself. I'm not ashamed to say that sometimes being a mum can be overwhelming and that I need time to myself. I do, that's just the way it is. I'm not going to be a martyr and sacrifice myself at the altar of parenthood, because I had kids it means that I don't get to have time off. Sod that for a game of soldiers, I'm still a person and sometimes I need to shower without someone hammering on the door, or to drink a mug of coffee in relative peace.

I want to find my inner girl & give her a makeover.
2014 will be spent taking more pride in what I wear and how I look. I don't want to live in jeans. Don't get me wrong, I love jeans. But I want OUTFITS. I'm going to spend some time figuring out what suits me and what I like and then I'm going to gradually sort out my wardrobe, and try and look more like I give a crap about what I look like. Because I do.
I'm going to sort my hair out and try & style it more often instead of just pulling it up into a messy bun or a plait. Time to grow up a bit and sort myself out.

I want to give the kids more 1:2:1 time.
I'm not sure how I am going to do this yet or how it will work out, but I plan to give the kids more one to one time, just me and them. Maybe going for a milkshake or to the cinema, going out for something to eat or for a swim, or to feed the ducks - whatever they want to do, just me and them (taking it in turns of course). It's going to take some serious logistics to fit it in around all of our activities, but we can do it. It'll be good for all of us. After my 'date' with J last year, I haven't managed to give them the time they deserve and that is something I am going to really focus on this year. They won't be here with me forever so I need to make the most of our time now, while I have it.

I think those are all perfectly achievable goals, things I really want to concentrate on this year. Maybe I'll give you an update later on, to see how I'm getting on with it all. I really hope for a good 2014. Last year had its highs & lows and I am determined to go out and make good things happen for our family, to make sure we have plenty of 'highs' in the months to come.

In 2013 I made some wonderful new friends, particularly the delightful Ella who has become one of my closest chums (and who we will be sharing a joint family holiday with in the Summer), I spent a fab weekend with my lovely cousin Jo at Britmums Live, we had fun family days out riding rollercoasters & performing magic, and cosy nights in watching movies and playing games. The Mister & I spent a few nights out with friends visiting from Australia over Christmas & New Year (and I discovered that I don't quite have the stomach or stamina for nights out like I did in my twenties... It happens to us all) and generally, all was well.

And while there were good times, there were of course also some bad - saying goodbye to family members & friends who sadly passed away, and thinking of dear friends & their children who were (and still are) fighting serious illness.

There were also minor issues like car problems and money problems. But - shit happens, and so I hope by taking more control, we can swerve these minor niggles more effectively in 2014 and concentrate on being there for the people who need us, taking care of ourselves, and taking more time to enjoy the good bits. Wish me luck!

What were your highs and lows of 2013? Have you set yourself goals or resolutions for the new year?

I have linked this post with #MagicMoments at The Oliver's Madhouse
and #theGallery at The Sticky Fingers Blog.


  1. They all seem so achievable! Good luck!!
    I'm with you on finding my inner girl & giving her a I too need to wear more then jeans!

  2. Ella 'Le Le' Smella12 January 2014 at 17:25

    Awwww Jooleroooo! 2013 was great! Fab to meet you at last, and I'll wear my 'one of your closest chums' badge with pride! Can't wait to go on tour with the Sheps! Viva La France! Here's to 2014 you beaut! x

  3. Good luck for 2014, I hope it brings you lots of joy and happiness.

    I'm also on a mission to better my life xx

  4. Actially brought a little tear to my eye. If I had your brain, I could've written that. I hope its all achieved and I shall miss my 'one man band' room mate at BML this year xx

  5. Love those goals!!!! I have a lot of similar ones - the make over one also stuck out for me - I am trying to take more time out for things like my nails etc :)

  6. I'm nodding along - I'd pretty much like all those things for us in 2014! x Glad you've made some fab chums :))) Hope to see you at Britmums if you're going again this year! #magicmoments xxx

  7. I agree with you on the resolution front, and I also like the list of things you want to change / tweak. I only have three little ones, so it is not as busy as your family-life, but I also try to have "mummy days" with them, so they can have one-to-one time to tell you their stories, have fun, be themselves and have all your attention. I did it yesterday with Beanie (3 years 3 months), and on the train, she was ecstatic to see so many train tracks, then we had a nice walk and a meal together. That was great.

  8. Oups, I forgot! #MagicMoments

  9. What a great post! I think a lot of us have the same hopes for the year ahead, I know I do. I hope we all manage to achieve them too! xxx

  10. What a great post! I think a lot of us have the same hopes for the year ahead, I know I do. I hope we all manage to achieve them too! xxx

  11. super post honey and one i can relate to A LOT!

    thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments

  12. I found myself nodding to all those. All the best with putting them into place. I totally have that cinderella syndrome too and just have to keep reminding myself that its good for them to learn to do a bit more at home xxx

  13. Good luck with your list of goals and happy 2014! #MagicMoments

  14. Oh, I was nodding my head! I wrote a similar post earlier in the week, and my final conclusion, after realising that my key goal is to achieve a better balance, was that I needed to be kind to myself. I hope you have a wonderful 2014 xx

  15. I think you have some great goals there and very achievable. I never see the point in new year resolutions either but I am trying to have a better 2014 by thinking more positive. Good luck achieving everything you want this year!

  16. Lot of home truths there for me too. Especially the jeans! Good luck to you for 2014.

  17. Good luck. I haven't made any resolutions because I am rubbish at keeping them. I know that I have to work really hard for the next six months at uni, but then life will be easier and I will have achieved something I never expected!

  18. Good luck with your plans for the year!

  19. Go you! I think these are all very achievable and goals that I tackled last year - especially the bit about getting them to help more around the house. They can all do their little bit and it's working well in our house (most days!). Good luck :)


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