Thursday, 8 May 2014
"Being supportive" - how's that for controversial?
I'm getting rather bored of the current trend of whinging about parenting. You know, that it's 'in' to state you'd rather grate your own eyeballs than do art & craft and messy play, mums who can and want to spend an extra ten minutes creating a fun lunch box instead of bunging it all in a bag are labelled as sad and their kids are probably wimps, God, isn't parenting just so shit and rubbish all the time?! What a chore!
No? I don't think so either.
It is perfectly okay to want to avoid messy play because let's be honest, nobody wants modelling dough mashed into the carpet, or a streak of electric blue paint running from the hall to the landing. It's normal to just want to pop a sandwich and a banana in a lunch box because you got up late or frankly can't be arsed to do anything else. It's perfectly acceptable to admit that you hate going to the school bake sale or kids parties or soft play. It's okay to find parenting boring sometimes!
But the constant slagging off of other parents who choose to, who are able to, who want to, and who - GOD FORBID - actually like to do these things is getting beyond ridiculous.
That - to me - is not okay.
Berating people for parenting their own kids in their own way that happens to be different to your way of doing things smacks of insecurity and jealousy. Why is it anyone else's business? Why is it your place to judge what they do? Disagreeing with the act is fine, slating the person for it is not.
It's a bit of fun to have a moan on social media about having to endure soft play on a Saturday morning, or a joke about the absence of any actual fun at the 'fun' swim. But when you're stood on your platform with your chums and your pointy fingers spouting vitriol at anyone who dares enjoy something you don't, then that's just bullying - plain and simple. That makes it the exact opposite of a bit of fun, and bullying is certainly no joke.
You know what I love? I love having my kids home from school during the holidays. I love sitting around the table as a family to eat our dinner every night. I love doing painting & play-doh modelling with E. I love being up to my elbows in cake batter baking with the kids on a whim, just 'because'. I love getting up early on pancake day to make the kids a stack of pancakes before school because it makes them happy. I love being able to do whatever the hell I want with my kids, because they're my kids & I will raise them as I see fit, as is the right of every parent.
If you don't love any of that, then that's okay too. So you do things your way, and we'll do things our way, and we'll all just muddle along doing the best we know how, and say "good for you" to people who like to do differently.
How about that?
Poor Grace Hall was the victim of a personal attack published on a parenting website simply for her love of creating inspiring bento style lunches for her children. I won't link to it, such is my contempt for the article (I believe it has now been removed) but if you'd like to check out lovely Grace's awesome blog, head over to EatsAmazing.co.uk.